I Should Have....

Today I said to my husband I wished I could have a do-over; that last day in court. I wished our attorney had prepared us that this was the time the court would finally allow us to speak. He didn't and we were not prepared. I relive that nightmare in court a dozen times a day in my head. I wished I said this or that. My husband says would it have mattered? He is right. Have you ever walked into a room full of people and you have that feeling that they had been talking about you? That's the feeling we had when we entered the court room that one last time. Everything was in place all the decisions had been made, the children would be adopted by Kathy B. the following day, this was just a formality, a deception or display of fairness. This court was not fair, the judge, and cps were all together in this. The decision had been made before we walked into that court room.